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Tuesday, October 23, 2007 

Dependency On Results

It's good to care about how you're playing because that's what makes golf fun, but there comes a point where you care too much or you care about the wrong things. Playing to impress people counts as one of those things. I would call this "ego golf".

You know you're an ego-golfer when your happiness hinges on your success on the golf course. When the good shots provide emotional highs and the bad shots make you feel depressed. A simple round of golf can be an emotional roller coaster for the serious ego-golfer. If you find that your good shots make you feel the desire to snap your clubs and throw them into the nearest pond then the diagnosis is coming out positive for ego golf. But you know you've really got it bad if you lie awake the night before a tournament worrying about your performance. (That has been me at times).

Other signs of the ego-golfer include bragging about your achievements and making excuses for your failures. And anything that involves straining to hit the ball further than your playing partners for no reason other than to see the look of awe on their face and know that you are more of a man than them. Alright, I still enjoy that one, but hell who's perfect ;).

The irony, the bitter irony, of this whole situation is that being an ego golfer makes you play worse. It's utterly self defeating. You get tense, nervous, sometimes euphoric and sometimes angry and make a lot of bad decisions. And golf really isn't much fun any more because as we all know golf has a nasty way of knocking you down one way or another.

Fortunately there is a definitive test to determine whether you are an ego golfer, which happens to be the cure as well.

Here's what you're going to do:

It is incredibly easy. You are going to play a really bad round of golf. Intentionally.

If a normal round for you is 80 then go out and take 100. If you're normal round is 90, aim for 110... go crazy and shoot 120, you get the idea. The whole point of this is to play about as well as the average baboon on ecstasy and have your playing partners believe that you are really trying.

A golfer who has no desire to impress anybody will probably find this an amusing thing to do, but overall it won't be a big deal at all. Maybe even a bit pointless.

However for an ego golfer this could be a huge epiphany. It can completely destroy the mindset of trying to impress other people. To intentionally play badly in front of others is the ego's worst nightmare, right? Topping the ball off the first tee in front of a large crowd. But soon you'll realise that nothing bad happens at all when you do this. Playing badly does not hurt you. The worst that can happen to you is people will playfully joke about it with you and that's just fun. In fact, you'll probably have a great time without the pressure of needing to impress people.

The key to this process helping is to make it seem believable to other people. If they find out what you are up to the whole thing will be ruined. Your acting must be on top form. If somebody mentions how badly you are playing appear to be distressed and be all like, "Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me." If your ego forces you to tell someone well then you'll just have to do it again!

If you're feeling conservative just do this on a practice round but it's most effective to do it in a competition and completely screw up. Get the dreaded point one on your handicap. The most bold amongst you will do it whilst playing foursomes when the need to impress is highest. NOTE: www.goodatgolf.com will not be held responsible for any bloody noses inflicted by your partner's fist after you have hit two of his brand new ProV1's out of bounds, followed by lipping out from 4 inches for birdie after he has hit the best approach shot of his life.

But seriously, try this out. If you're scared all I have to say to you is you must be an ego-golfer, otherwise you wouldn't care! That's right I have you now, mwahahaha. Meh.

Happy hacking to one and all.

Fraser Hasell is the owner of www.goodatgolf.com.

Yoga Mat Bagsd

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